| | It's been such a long time I've abandoned this blog, well, almost a year that is.
A lot of changes happened during this period, a lot of changes which I couldn't really accept. Well, I guess it's my ego that I do not want to accept the changes at all.
Next Monday will be my first paper and quite frankly, I do not want to screw it up. I don't know what has happened to me because I failed this test 2 and yet, I'm not even sad at all. Well, maybe just for the two hours, but still! Is it something good that I changed so drastically just over a year? I don't care about my studies anymore, and I've lost all the usual friends I have in school, is this kharma for my ego? For treating people unevenly? Heck, I don't even know that I don't treat people evenly until someone told me so. I've regretted, as usual, for my behavior, now I'm all alone, feeling pathetic, and people still call me a class rep while my class does not even listen to me anymore, I'm just an agent distributing notes to them. Maybe she's right, I'm tired already.
Recently knew some of my friends got internships in a few big companies in Malaysia, congratulations to them. I guess I have no hope huh? I'm still doubting whether should I continue this path or not. As in, to be an actuary or not? I've developed so many sickness, so many bad behaviors just studying in this course. Dilemma. Sometimes, I wish everything would be like before, sometimes...
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| | Posted 9/12/2009 7:33 AM - 22 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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